Dr. Wall Says

Speak up, listen up, bridge the gap

Please don’t be this person during the holidays!

Don't be this person

As we enter the holiday season articles and inspirational posts on gratitude, good will and new year resolutions have already started to clutter our inboxes and social media feeds. Every time I come across one of these “10-reasons-to-be-grateful-this-Holiday” article I want to pull my hair out. I am a big proponent of self-awareness, so I’m trying to understand this reaction, and I realize that what drives me nuts is that people wait until the end of the year to reflect on life.

Why do we wait for some arbitrarily established season to think about life – what we want from it, what we love about it, and how we can make our world a better place? It frustrates me to no-end that so many people are willing to live 3/4 of the year reactively, then spend three months focusing on themselves, only to return to oblivious living the rest of the year. If I could reach virtually through the screen and shake them I would.

We have this one life, it’s a pretty amazing thing, really! Yet we spend a quarter of it complaining that it’s not what we want it to be, another quarter ignoring all the things we want and need, a third quarter haphazardly pursuing happiness (which is a transient state not something you can get and hold on to all the time), and then three months out of the year we force ourselves to be cheerful, grateful and kind!? It makes not sense!

Are you one of these people?

If you are working on one of the dozen of gratitude exercises that pop up around this time of year, have you considered what your gratitude is tied to? Have you thought about ways in which you can continue to build these things into  your life and the lives of others (and I’m not talking about keeping a gratitude journal)?

Are you already starting to plan your resolution for the new year? Can you tell me what they are and why deep down they matter to you? Can you tell me why you haven’t achieved these things already, and what’s going to hold you back from reaching them this year? Can you guarantee that the things you are resolving to do will have a significant impact on your life?

I am hoping some of you are saying yes while reading this, but I know that for most people the answer is no. Most resolutions repeat themselves from one year to the next. We blame circumstances and laziness for why we don’t reach our goals, but don’t consider that there might be a more profound reason we’re not achieving them.

There’s a better way!

This kind of approach to life is what leaves us filled with regrets and “I should have’s”. If  you want to thrive and make mistakes that you can grow from rather than regret, then you need to start paying attention to your life now, and stick with it. If you want to live a great story you can’t just think about what’s great or what’s missing between the months of November and January.

Don’t fall into the trap of seasonal awareness and bliss, you are better than that.

Your life and fulfillment are worth more.  I’ve been thinking about why we get trapped into this pattern year after year, and I’m currently working on a few resources for people who actually want to make lasting and meaningful changes without breaking the bank or having to engage in 3 years of existential therapy.

If you want to stay updated and have a chance to beta-test some of these resources just click the link below, not only will you stay in the loop but you’ll get a great PDF outlining three things you do that hold you back!

Like this? You’ll want to read these!

Podcast 15 To Thrive or Not






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Hi! I'm Dr. Alessandra Wall

I help smart driven women and forward-thinking companies bridge the gap & build real conversations.

Here on the ‘Dr. Wall Says’, I share tools, tips, and insights about speaking up, getting heard and how women can take up space and thrive in the 21st century.



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