Dr. Wall Says

Speak up, listen up, bridge the gap

New You? No Way!

fcade2_f539286b0c2c4125b7bf6f98438bddb7.jpg_srb_p_324_324_75_22_0.50_1.20_0I don’t know about you, but I have spent countless hours, energy and resources becoming the person I am today. It took me years to understand who I was and to get over my insecurities (that’s what my 20s were for). I invested huge resources into my education and my professional career, developing skills that I have honed into my craft and passion. I have worked hard to learn what I was good at and work towards it, while at the same time accepting my limitations and weaknesses. So why would I want to give that all up, just because something felt off in my life? And for that matter why would you? New you? No way! Here too choose to be green; reduce, reuse and recycle yourself to thrive.

Reduce:

Reduce the time and effort you put into things that don’t bring you joy, fulfillment or growth. That might mean rethinking some of your relationships, or moving away from an activity that was once a passion, but is now only time consuming and of limited interest. My friend Chris Browning did the latter and shared his story; his enthusiasm is contagious. Reducing might also pertain to the things you have to do, like chores. You’ve probably noticed by now that the older you get, the more responsibilities you have, leaving you less and less time to enjoy life. Consider outsourcing some of those chores – trust me outsourcing is not just the domain of telemarketing agencies and customer support departments. Think of things like using a laundering service more frequently (less time washing and folding bedding means more time for reading and with my family), hiring someone to come in a clean every few weeks or even swapping chores with a house mate to eliminate a hated responsibility (I make the bed, hubby empties the dishwasher). Reduce the things that suck the life out of you and free your time and energy to reuse or develop habits that feed your soul.

Reuse:

There are parts of yourself that still hold a lot of meaning. These are skills, relationships, interests and personal attributes that you have committed time and energies to. Why would you give them up for a new and shiny version of yourself that might not even be as good as the older model? Instead of trying to recreate yourself try to identify what drives you, what you like most about yourself, what you need and value, and reinvest in those things. It might mean rekindling a relationship that fell by the wayside when life got busy, or recommitting to a hobby that has been gathering dust, or shifting your priorities at work to highlight tasks that make you feel accomplished and driven. Whatever it is, these are things that still speak to you; they fill you joy, a sense of pride and fulfillment. Repurposing them will provide maximal gains with a minimum of effort because they are familiar and were previously established, you know what to do to fit them in.

Recycle:

When I work with people who are extremely dissatisfied with their lives they often think that they need a complete re-haul in order to be happy again. Although that is sometimes the case, and I can point to a number of people in the fitness or Paleo industry whose careers are 180 degrees from where they started, it is rarely necessary. What’s important here is understanding what you love to do, what you are good at and what you can do, and finding a way to recycle those into you current life. I find that Life in Focus Coaching is a great example of this. I still use the skills I learned as a psychologist and cultivate the values that drove me to that first career (i.e. a desire to make a meaningful difference in the lives of others, the need to pursue excellence, the need to use my brain and analytical skills on a daily basis). I have simply recycled these things and adapted them to fit into a different passion.

New you? No Way!

fcade2_858c37abc10c480a95787d8aad1c05ff.jpg_srb_p_489_326_75_22_0.50_1.20_0

This is first and last time you were ever brand new >>

New you? Now way! You are who you are, and that all good. Think about it, how many of us have gone to new schools or towns and vowed to make a fresh start, only to end up doing the same things,  hanging with the same kind of people, and being our same selves. Why? Because there is no such things as a new you! You’re not spinning your wheels or feeling disconnected because you need to reinvent yourself. What you need is to get back in touch with who you are. Rediscover what you value and need to feel fulfilled. Understand why you do what you do! Answering those questions will allow you to create a roadmap to a better, but not different, you and that will get you unstuck, that will help you thrive.

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Hi! I'm Dr. Alessandra Wall

I help smart driven women and forward-thinking companies bridge the gap & build real conversations.

Here on the ‘Dr. Wall Says’, I share tools, tips, and insights about speaking up, getting heard and how women can take up space and thrive in the 21st century.

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